I really hate to do this, but...

Yeah, so there's been a conflict within my suite...related to rooming next year....who's rooming with who...and it's a big mess...

I realized it's wrong...I can't talk about this on here...I realize that I don't live up to my view of fuck-it-all-I-don't-care-what-anyone-thinks-I'll-write-whatever-I-want...
I'm the type of person that doesn't want to step on anyone's toes (that's why I would be a horrible businessman, I'm not ruthless enough)...I often get stuck in the middle of things...

I can't spill my heart onto this journal anymore...for fear that it would be read and seen by others that SHOULDN'T be reading it...yeah, I've come to this realization...what....like after 3 years of blogging...yeah...brilliant...I'm slow, give me a fucking break...

My views have changed...I realize now that a journal has to be personal and private...otherwise you will automatically censor yourself and you won't go "all out"...you hold yourself back...you don't actually say what you really want to say...and that's not what true writing should be...
And sometimes I feel like a goldfish in a fish bowl...(kind of like a lost soul, swimming in a fishbowl, year after year)...

I might keep a regular journal...good ole' pen and paper...but then there are different risks involved with that...
It seems to be the best option though...I don't know...
Maybe one day people can see it...
Yeah...one day...

"My life ain’t no holiday
I’ve been through the point of no return..."
~New Order, "Vanishing Point"

:(

Oh man, this is bad...
I feel like shit right now, there's no way of describing it...
This is the pits, and I must drown myself...

"There's no today and there's no tomorrow
Where you find sadness I find sorrow..."
~New Order, "Let's Go (Nothing For Me)"